Surviving?

To start my first post  I have to start of with why picking the title....

A few weeks ago after a talk with a good friend about raising kids and our parenting style ( ok, maybe lack of!!)   She had told me that at a doctors appointment the doctor had asked her how she would describe her parenting style and she replied, "Well...just surviving..." The doctor then said, "Oh, that's not good."  I laughed and right then a light went off.

What my friend doesn't know that I was so impressed that she could give such an honest answer.  If it were me, I would have came up with some answer of, "It is ok, some days are harder than others..."  UMMM CAN YOU SAY DENIAL!!!! (And I am thinking that doctor doesn't have kids!!)

Like I said, it was like this light went off in my head.  I still am not sure how it all connects, but I have come to sense that some days we are just meant to be in "Survival Mode".  And some of these days can turn into weeks, months, years......God just works that way and just needs to get our attention. If it isn't those days for you, it is for someone you know. If you're honest too, tomorrow can change everything.

I am drawn to the Psalms and know even more now as a mom of why.  It is because  most of them are calls out to God when in desperate need.  In times of just surviving and all you can do is "CRY OUT TO HIM"......David was being chased by a mad man when he wrote most of them...out in the desert, all alone, tired, hungry, scared....As a mom I GET THAT.....not just as a mom, as a grown woman who is wondering what is "NEXT".....Just Surviving....Surviving the day to day life of chaos and dysfunction  and blur of life.....of myself, my children, my husband, my family and friends and all that can fit into the 24 hours of a day.....

The last year I have tried to memorize and really pray Psalm 63.  Read it for yourself.  He uses  the words and phrases, "Earnestly seeks; thirsts; longs for; dry and weary land; soul clings...."  Can you feel that? He is in NEED.

Tonight after reading in Genesis 12 and how Abraham was called to leave everything and wondering how that must have felt and thinking about my own move away from home almost 10 years ago; I felt drawn to write out the major events in those past years. There were points that I remember feeling I was  just surviving; so tired, burnt out, and anxious. Now I look back and think "that was nothing". Again that is Surviving.  I thought I wasn't  going to make it but I did.  Here is the definition  of surviving...

survive |sərˈvīv|verb [ intrans. ]continue to live or exist, esp. in spite of danger or hardship : against allodds the child survived.• [ trans. ] continue to live or exist in spite of (an accident or ordeal) :he has survived several assassination attempts.• [ trans. ] remain alive after the death of (a particular person) : he was survived by his wife and six children | [as adj. ] ( surviving) there were no surviving relatives.• [ intrans. ] manage to keep going in difficult circumstances : she had to work day and night and survive on two hours sleep.

I like the last definition: manage to keep going in difficult circumstances.  In order to live you have to keep surviving, keep going.  That is why the  past events on my list now don't feel so hard, I kept going   and have the hope and faith to continue.....

In some of those hardest moments I have had some of the most amazing friends to keep me going.  I want to engage with people who get that. Laugh with them. Share my stories of day to day surviving.  Hear others stories too.  It is with good company you get through these moments....Manage to keep going in difficult circumstances......People to laugh, cry and pray with....to Just Survive with....