Don't Touch!!!

How many times a day do you use the phrase, "DON"T TOUCH!" with your children?

Did you know that a baby will fail to thrive if they are not touched? There is an actual diagnosis for this called  Reactive attachment disorder (RAD) which arises from a failure to form normal attachments to primary caregivers in early childhood.  Children  need to  be held and loved on to survive....There is an actual technique called Kangaroo Care used for this for infants:

 Kangaroo care seeks to provide restored closeness of the newborn with mother or father by placing the infant in direct skin-to-skin contact with one of them. This ensures physiological and psychological warmth and bonding. Not just with parents, but this technique is used in foreign countries in orphanages.    <sup>(sources from wikipedia)  




]</sup>So why it is as a mom there are just some days YOU don't want to be touched???  After having to have my van serviced today, I walked my children home from a friends in the miserable heat, using our wagon, which of course  my children  didn't want to ride in, and then the middle one wanted me to carry her.  After not being with her all day I wanted to love on her and hold her but then a few minutes went by and I just wanted to put her down....I was tired, hot, sweaty and trying to traffic two other children.  She just cried and wanted to be carried.....And I wanted to scream, "Get off Me...."

This is not a  new concept, I know that.   But it is just a frustrating one.  I want to love on my kids and at the same time want them in bed so I can just be still.   My poor dog even by the end of the day wants me to love on her and I am just wiped out and can barely lift a hand to pet her.   And we won't go there with the husband either (there are whole marriage conferences for that!!:) We all know how I got the three children:)

I am just amazed that on one side of the spectrum there is failure to thrive if not touched and then on the other you feel like if you are poked or probed or sat on one more time you are going to be sent to the nut house!

So tonight I held my kids a few minutes longer each before they went to bed.  I tried to take in there little bodies, their little faces and know that soon it will all be gone and they will be too big to be cuddled and will be asking me not to hug them in public. That will be a sad day.

I grew up with a grandma who gave a mean back scratch and it has become sort of a  "family tradition" if you can call it that.  My kids LOVE to have their back scratched. So in our little cuddle times they get a little back scratch.  Lately though, in return my kids want to scratch or rub my back too.  I find it so cute and again in my "Don't Touch Me Moments" irritating (being honest...those are just in my sensory overload moments;)).  But what I know and am thankful, is they are learning to love by giving that love back to me.

Earlier this spring I finally splurged on a massage.  I have never had one and after having 3 children I HIGHLY recommend you to save your pennies. I let a total stranger work her magic on me and for an hour can you say "Relief?"  I just googled touch therapy and 6,290,000 results came up along with other searches you can do.  Touch is a stress reliever.  Dr. Gary Chapman has a whole book series on The Five Love Languages, one of them being Touch.......

I am just finding this all to be a catch 22!!  Probably just speaking out from the heat and tiredness!!!

In all, I know that in the world of a mom, a teacher, a childcare worker....They get me!!!